Official Site of Author Kathleen Meyer

Excerpts from
How to Shit in the Woods
Chapter 6, “For Women Only: How Not to Pee in Your Boots”

Now for a word, or a great bunch of words, on transformative feminine funnels, or FUDs (female urinary devices). These articles to facilitate a woman’s peeing come in disposable waterproof cardboard or washable reusable plastic, or silicone, and should by rights be available in every public toilet. With slight variations in shape, the principle is the same for all models. Funnels, elongated and elliptical, afford a comfortable fit between a woman’s legs and allows her to direct her stream. . . .
         No more staying dehydrated for fear of having to pee!
         . . . funnels, in recent years, have blossomed into a colorful bouquet of products, to the extent that you can color-coordinate or make a personal fashion statement. They sell to numerous joyous tunes: “no more tush in the bush,” “female freedom,” don’t take life sitting down,” “stand up and take control,” “banish bare bottoms,” “because life’s greatest adventure shouldn’t be finding a restroom.” So select you ditty and get weeing.